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All-Stars

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Juno

Breed: All legs AND all body

Attitude: Every day is the best day

Alphaness: .5%

Interests: Prancing around. Some ball activity. Being amazing. 

 

Description: Juno looks like a zeppelin. She’s round like a rugby ball, with stick legs that just jut out and go straight down. Salt-and-pepper fur and a tiny, perfectly proportioned face to boot. She’s recently started tapping when excited and it couldn’t be cuter. 

 

Friends: Any small dog that isn’t a jerk. 

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Hachi

Breed: None of your business. Malamute. 

Attitude: Mercurial

Alphaness: The scale cannot go that high. 

Interests: Judging. The other dogs, the owners, the passers-by. And especially those who parallel park around the park. 

 

Description: Old-school despot. He’s running the show but you’d never know it because he doesn’t get his paws dirty. 

 

Friends: Trust no one. 

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Buddy

Breed: Labradory Mix 

Attitude: Active 

Alphaness: 50%

Interests: Small park alone time, mounting. 

 

Description: Buddy likes to mount. He mounts other dogs his own size. 

 

Friends: When he’s in a friendly mood, Hank. When he’s in a solitary mood, his own thought. 

Barlow

Breed: Fluff

Attitude: Dopey 

Alphaness: 22%

Interests: Ball. Barking. Being dopey. 

 

Description: Barlow likes to chase the ball and to chase other dogs chasing the ball. He also likes to bark at the ball and other dogs chasing the ball. 


Friends: Vince.

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Maple

Breed: Long 

Attitude: Pleasant and perky, like the Canadians represented by her name. 

Alphaness: 8%

Interests: Whatever you’re doing will be fine. 

 

Description: Long, sandy tube with stubs for legs. Face of a tiny pittie with a jutting upper lip. She looks annoyed with you, but she’s not. 

 

Friends: Piglet and Iko. She has a crush on Vince - she’s young and going through that bad-boy stage. 

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Iko

Breed: Pure Pit

Attitude: Love

Alphaness: -7%

Interests: Love. And licking inside your mouth. 

 

Description: Iko loves you, everyone else in your life, and everyone you’ve ever met. Don’t be mean to Iko because it’ll break her heart. But also, she’ll be over it in 4 seconds and off to try to spread more love. She literally cannot take a hint.  

 

Friends: In her head, everyone. In reality, no one. 

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Vince

Breed: Chihuahua/Pit Bull

Attitude: MAGA 

Alphaness: In his head 1000%, in reality 74%

Interests: Ball. Ecoterrorism. 

 

Description: 23 pounds of rage who just wants to chase the ball and be left the hell alone. He is going to find some excuse to yell at you. He’s angry about everything, mad at everyone, and obsessed with the ball. He’ll shove that in your face and make sure you know about it.  

 

Friends: Himself. Sometimes Hank and Titus. 

Tokyo

Breed: English Retriever (chocolate)

Attitude: Just happy to be here! 

Alphaness: 4%

Interests: Coercing pets. Stealing. 

 

Description: Tokyo is a lover. She wants you to give her minutes-long belly rubs. And then when you stop, she will steal whatever you have available. Luckily, she’s chubby and not inclined to running, so you can get it back pretty easily. 

 

Friends: Any human in the park. 

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Hank

Breed: Retrivery, Houndy. Some Pit in there, no doubt. 

Attitude: High School Boy Energy

Alphaness: 90% (head and reality)

Interests: Ball. Chaos. 

 

Description: Hank is a tank. And he has his own mode of transportation - a human-powered cart attached to the front of a bicycle known as the Hank-Mobile. He comes to give 110% of his energy and if you don’t like it, that’s your problem. Hank is the poster child for YOLO. 

 

Friends: Hank. 

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Miles

Breed: Land Salamander

Attitude: Happy with a hint of sass

Alphaness: 45%

Interests: Running around, some antagonism

 

Description: Miles likes to run around the park - run up to people and then run away, run to the other dogs and then run away, run to the corners of the park. And then run away. 

 

Friends: Miles is a loner. 

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Titus

Breed: Pit Mix

Attitude: Frat Boy/Jock with a Heart of Gold

Alphaness: In his head 50%, in reality 88%

Interests: Ball. But just that one, specific ball. 

 

Description: Titus is an athlete, but doesn’t let his skills on the field go to his head. He's humble, gracious, and kind with other dogs.

 

Friends: His owner. 

Monty

Breed: Collie / Shepherd 

Attitude: Focused

Alphaness: Unknown

Interests: Ball. Waiting. Waiting for ball. 

 

Description: Monty waits for the ball. That’s all Monty does, wait for the ball. When someone else gets the ball, that’s ok, because Monty will just wait. 

 

Friends: A bigger ball. Preferably soccer. 

Bowie

Breed: Misfit

Attitude: Player  

Alphaness: 65%

Interests: Scrappin', ballin', pets 

 

Description: Bowie is a people's dog. He likes folks. He also likes to cause a stir and pick a fight or two. Bowie isn't afraid to throw paws. He might be in a dog fight club for all we know, but regardless, he's ready to rumble. Good boy though. 

Friends: People. Anyone willing to fight. 

Backy (Baklava) 

Breed: Retriever type

Attitude: Today is the best day ever

Alphaness: 0.0%

Interests: Ball, barking, bouncing

 

Description: Backy has about two brain cells that alternate being on (and sometimes none of them are on). She bounces around the park, playing ball, barking at other dogs while bounding, and then tearing around like a lunatic. She's delightful. 

 

Friends: Everyone

George

Breed: Smoll and rubber lipped. 

Attitude: Secure 

Alphaness: 35% and rising 

Interests: Ball, snuggling. 

 

Description: George is a transforming from a people boy to a ball boy. He bounds in and makes the rounds to people, but since discovering purple ball, George is an up-and-coming ball star. He's also flexing his muscles by challenging anyone who comes after purple ball. In fact, George is trying on the role of tough guy these days. 

Friends: Hachi, Maple

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Adderley 

Breed: Hound/Retriever 

Attitude: Interested  

Alphaness: 22%

Interests: What's going on over here then? 

 

Description: Adderley is interested in everything. What's going on with these dogs? What's going on with those dogs? What's going on outside the fence? What's going on with those people? What's going on with you? Adderley needs to know! 

Friends: Anyone doing anything. 

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Banksy

Breed: Tiny Cloud

Attitude: The Cute One in a Boy Band  

Alphaness: Surprising 77%

Interests: Being cute 

 

Description: Banksy is cute and he knows it. He saunters around the park, brushing up against shins, moving in and out of legs and looking up with that face. Melting hearts and then moves on to fuck with other dogs. But no one does anything because Banksy is so damn cute. He's crafty. 

Friends: Everyone wants to be Banksy's friend, but he only has acquaintances. 

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Rufus

Breed: Wiry

Attitude: Grizzled Old Prospector

Alphaness: 60%

Interests: Ball. Yelling. 

 

Description: Rufus is a grizzled old prospector - old, grey, wears a bandana, and critical of everyone. He howls around the park and prances. He has the legs of a dancer and the grace and elegance of one too. Too bad he's angry and just wants things to go back to the way they used to be. 

Friends: Other elderly dogs who know today's dogs are too soft. 

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Gilligan

Breed: Frenchie

Attitude: The Skipper 

Alphaness: 63%

Interests: Running around like a canine pinball 

 

Description: Gilligan is active agent of chaos. He engages in parkour, loves a nice puddle, and likes to taunt other dogs in the park. He uses his low stature and solid body mass to propel himself across the park and to bulldoze into other dogs who remain unawares until Gilligan comes barreling in. He's like an adorable wrecking ball. 

Friends: Anyone he can bulldoze. 

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Chloe

Breed: German Shepherd

Attitude: Ball 

Alphaness: 12%

Interests: Ball 

 

Description: Chloe is ball obsessed. She brings her own ball and spends all her time at the park playing with it. She drops it off at the feet of would-be throwers and spins out for a launch. She tries to get everyone involved, because the more people involved with ball, the more fun! And if someone takes the ball, she doesn't freak out, she waits. Very very anxiously. 

Friends: Ball

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Matilda

Breed: Hound Mix

Attitude: Live, Laugh, Love

Alphaness: 29%

Interests: Loving life

 

Description: Matilda has laugh lines from all the laughing she does. She's like a middle aged Midwestern woman who puts folks signs up around the house to let you know you're welcome. She would bake you a casserole if she could. She loves ball, but if someone else loves the ball more, they can have it. 

Friends: Probably not friends, but she's looking out for everyone at the park. 

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Gibson

Breed: Australian Shepherd

Attitude:  Cheeky  

Alphaness:  30%

Interests:  Trouble

 

Description: Gibson is a trouble-maker. You can hear his people calling his name all across the park, as he digs a new hole, upsets a water bowl, rolls in mud, antagonizing other dogs. Whatever mischief that can be had, Gibson will have it. But he's not a bad boy, just a lovable scamp who keeps his people on their toes. 

Friends: Anyone will to commit petty crimes and misdemeanors. 

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Gibson's Sister

Breed: ??? 

Attitude: ???

Alphaness: ???%

Interests: ???

 

Description: Gibson's sister is overshadowed by Gibson. No one really knows what she's like because everyone is concerned with keeping Gibson out of tomfoolery. She wanders about the park, being nice and normal, and that's about it. She poops when she's supposed to poop, pees when she's supposed to pee. She's cool, I guess. 

Friends: Not that anyone knows of. 

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Dali

Breed: Terrier type

Attitude: Sass! 

Alphaness: 55%

Interests: Her mom

 

Description: Dali is as mysterious and weird as her namesake. She protects her mom (from nothing) and growls at anyone who comes within 3 feet of her, but then acts disinterested. She has short bursts of interest in other things around the park, but it always comes back to protecting mom from the dangers of the park. 

Friends: Mom

Sasha

Breed: Shepherd

Attitude:  A Victorian child trapped in the body of a dog

Alphaness:  65%

Interests:  Not putting up with your shit

 

Description: Sasha is tired of your shit. She's going to let you know about it. Bark at you and run after you, until it's too much and then fuck that shit. But she'll never forget about your stupid shit and judges you for it. Even though she looks like she's perpetually doing a walk of shame with smeared mascara. She's still better than you and your stupid shit. 

Friends: Not you. 

Willie

Breed: Pomsky 

Attitude: Gorgeous

Alphaness: 55%

Interests: Looking good

 

Description: Willie is beautiful and he knows it. He runs around, fluff blowing in the wind, making eye contact with everyone to make sure they're admiring his beauty. And when someone doubts his beauty, he let's them know of the error. But then he's back to bounding around with beauty. He also plays down and dirty when he needs to. But he's always styling. 

Friends: His own reflection. 

Henry

Breed: Hound

Attitude: Friendly as can be 

Alphaness: 5%

Interests: Being with the dogs

 

Description: Henry just wants to be a part of it all. He's here to run around and do whatever those dogs are doing. Sure, he had hip surgery and isn't quite as nubile as he used to be, but he still wants to be a part of it all. But not on the table. He's not allowed on the tables, but he sure does try. And then he runs around some more just hoping to be with his besties.  

Friends: Those dogs over there and those dogs over there and these dogs right here. 

The ultimate All-Stars of the park are the Somerville Parks and Rec grounds crew. These hardworking men and women come in week after week and empty bins full of poop and debris. 

They also fill in holes, trim the weeds and grass, and rake the gravel. 

They do all this while dogs bark at and harass them, with smiles and friendly attitudes toward human and canine alike. 

If you ever need to contact them to make a service request, you can do so here: 

https://somervillema.qscend.com/311/request/add

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