Ball Talk
Boudin's True Paternity Unearthed?
Boudin the long dog has known for a considerable amount of his life that he was, in fact, adopted. This information has in no way compelled him to wonder who his biological parents are. However, upon watching his athletic prowess and style at the dog park, some patrons have speculated and come to the conclusion that Boudin's biological father might just be...... Brett Favre?!?
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While it might seem crazy to think the 3x NFL MVP, Super Bowl XXXI champion, 11 time Pro-Bowler, and human Favre could be Boudin's father, the similarities in playing style coupled with their Southern roots combined with Favre's inexplicable bad choices in the past decade have not ruled the possibility out. Let's examine the evidence.
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Boudin's playing style is all-in. He never stops and he leaves 110% in the gravel. From the moment he runs through the second gate into the field of play, he's all in. Much like Favre who only missed one series in the Packers 1996 Super Bowl winning campaign while he was vomiting on the sideline.
Boudin has also thrown up from playing too hard, although unlike Favre, he did clean up after himself by eating it. Another similarity between the two are their rough and tumble playing styles. Favre was not afraid to throw into double coverage in much the same way Boudin will take on two or three huskies to win the tug rope. Finally, while most find Boudin charming and a real dog's dog, some might see him as something of a dog park bully. Likewise, Favre, the good-old-boy from Mississippi was sometimes accused of bullying teammates who were smarter than him. His replacement Aaron Rodgers complained Favre bullied him in an alpha male showdown by questioning his manhood. Boudin is also a neutered male.
So why would Favre father a canine? Well, since leaving the Packers in 2007, he made a series of ridiculous and bat-shit crazy decisions. These choices were increasingly perplexing: from joining the cursed New York Jets, to sending unwanted pictures of his little linebacker to a reporter, to throwing a terrible interception in the NFC Championship game as a Minnesota Viking (not to mention being a Minnesota Viking). While these decisions were baffling in an of themselves, his next moves, relocating to an actual swamp in the South, becoming a high school football coach, and wrastlin' gators suggest he could have been stupid or drunk enough to sire Boudin. He is also rumored to have had several affairs, one of which could have been with a really hot poodle. Boudin also makes some poor decisions - from eating road kill to rolling in poop.
As of press time, however, Boudin does not steal millions from state coffers. Maybe the odd sock, here and there, but it's not exactly embezzlement.
Chloe's Charming Fetch Game Thwarted by Inattentive Patron
In an effort to get someone new to throw her ball, Chloe kept haplessly and helplessly dropping her ball at the feet of an unsuspecting elderly man who was jabbering away on the phone.
Chloe is a known baller at the park, who has an inviting approach to roping others into throwing the ball for her. She simply drops the ball at the feet of others, before spinning out a few feet and turning to stare at the would-be pitcher with hopeful anticipation.
Nine times out of ten, this method is successful for Chole. Park goers either play along or, in the rare instance of meeting a joyless and soulless person, walk away and someone with a heart picks up the slack.
But this gentleman didn’t fit into either category… he seems oblivious to both Chloe’s ball advances and her very existence! This despite her depositing and redepositing the ball in different places around his feet. But with every drop, the man evaded her eyeline by shifting or turning. All the while maintaining a conversation that seemed to be as important as brokering an international peace accord.
Chloe eventually picked her ball up and dropped it at the feet of another, more vigilant park goer. But her drop was not without some sadness.
Is Vince the GOAT?
Vince is a known entity at the Nunziato, but he is not without controversy. While other dogs are ballers - Chloe, Monty, Hank - the undisputed king of the ball is Vince. And he’s not afraid to let everyone in the park (and in a two block radius) know it.
The pittie-chi mix is a natural athlete. Anticipating the arc of the Chuck-it ball and where it will land. Leaping two, three, sometimes four feet in the air to catch it. Running intricate routes. Playing with equal capabilities any and all styles of ball from rubber to tennis to lacrosse. And while these aspects are admirable, his attitude leaves much to be desired.
Vince growls at everyone and anyone that dares to interfere with his ball. This ranges from growling at those who chase his ball, those who merely cross his path when he is chasing the ball, or those who even think about his ball. Somehow he knows when others are thinking about his ball and he darts at the would-not-be interloper.
As if this behavior wouldn’t be bad enough, Vince is also a taunter. When he knows another dog wants his ball, he will shove it in their face and growl. Leaving the would-be player to whine and regret every wanting to play with Vince in the first place. He also splashes water out of the dog dish. Which has nothing to do with the ball, but just shows what a jerk he is.
Still, his skills and is ups are unparalleled.